I have been scamming bikram yoga nyc. In case you dont know bikram yoga is HOT yoga or yoga taught in like 115 degree heat. You shvitz, you pose, you get centered, you get the point. I was introduced to it by Mason who was living in my living room for 2 months last year and it gave us something to do together as a family unit.
Anyway, Mason had me sign up for the unlimited introductory week ( i had never taken a yoga class before in my life) and it entitled me to unlimited classes for 7 days for the discount price of $22. This was my romancing week. Mason even bought me my own mat! I fell in love with the sweat and the cute american apparel shorts i wore during class that i hadnt put on since fire island and especially the way my body looked in the mirror when I contorted into these faboo poses! I felt taller, I felt leaner, I felt refreshed, i was LIVING. The dancers pose is my favorite.
After that week ended I wanted more. But I wasnt gonna pay the $25 per class when I was accustomed to such bargain priced exhilaration. A few weeks after that ended a friend of mine who saw through my facebook that i had been taking bikram told me that they were offering a new spesh, 30 days for $30!! I was so excited but there was one catch - The spesh was only available to first time students.
So i borrowed my fathers credit card, signed up for class under his name, Donald Payne, and went to a bikram location that I hadnt been to before (there are 4 in manhattan) When I showed up for my first class the desk girl asked me for ID and I nearly died but she said I had a believable face and allowed me to go to class sans ID as my new alter-ego, Donald.
In my first class as Donald the yogi woman asked who the first time student was and after a bit of hesitation when I saw no one else was raising their hand, I slowly put up mine. She asked for my name and I told her Donnie. She misunderstood me and called me Danny the entire time and from that point on my bargain basement bikram pseudonym "Danny" was born.
That was 30 days ago. I have been to 9 classes since that day as "Danny" and love the luxury of not only being able to schedule time for my yoga poses and centeredness in this crazy city but being able to do it for only $1 a day.
Today I went to register for one but Danny's introductory month has run its course. Danny is debating spending the $25 for a class but he really cant afford right now with everything else going on.
Maybe he will find another bikram school with introductory offers. Danny would appreciate any and all suggestions.
Namaste.
Anyway, Mason had me sign up for the unlimited introductory week ( i had never taken a yoga class before in my life) and it entitled me to unlimited classes for 7 days for the discount price of $22. This was my romancing week. Mason even bought me my own mat! I fell in love with the sweat and the cute american apparel shorts i wore during class that i hadnt put on since fire island and especially the way my body looked in the mirror when I contorted into these faboo poses! I felt taller, I felt leaner, I felt refreshed, i was LIVING. The dancers pose is my favorite.
After that week ended I wanted more. But I wasnt gonna pay the $25 per class when I was accustomed to such bargain priced exhilaration. A few weeks after that ended a friend of mine who saw through my facebook that i had been taking bikram told me that they were offering a new spesh, 30 days for $30!! I was so excited but there was one catch - The spesh was only available to first time students.
So i borrowed my fathers credit card, signed up for class under his name, Donald Payne, and went to a bikram location that I hadnt been to before (there are 4 in manhattan) When I showed up for my first class the desk girl asked me for ID and I nearly died but she said I had a believable face and allowed me to go to class sans ID as my new alter-ego, Donald.
In my first class as Donald the yogi woman asked who the first time student was and after a bit of hesitation when I saw no one else was raising their hand, I slowly put up mine. She asked for my name and I told her Donnie. She misunderstood me and called me Danny the entire time and from that point on my bargain basement bikram pseudonym "Danny" was born.
That was 30 days ago. I have been to 9 classes since that day as "Danny" and love the luxury of not only being able to schedule time for my yoga poses and centeredness in this crazy city but being able to do it for only $1 a day.
Today I went to register for one but Danny's introductory month has run its course. Danny is debating spending the $25 for a class but he really cant afford right now with everything else going on.
Maybe he will find another bikram school with introductory offers. Danny would appreciate any and all suggestions.
Namaste.
Um HELLO, fuck bikram, were going to be living on the streets in a few weeks Danny!!
ReplyDeleteI works there. call me and I will hook u up gurl.
ReplyDelete