I can't with the white

Today I painted my walls white. Well, navajo eggshell white from Benjamin Moore. I said goodbye to the orange halls I love so much and left my place white washed clean for the next person who moves in.

I also painted the red wall and column in my bedroom. I left the living room tan, and the kitchen bright yellow (one wall). They'll deal with that. I never did get around to deciding on a color for that pesky bathroom so it's been white the whole time I've been here.

Technically i didn't have to paint any of these rooms back today because I never gave my landlord a security deposit when I moved in here in 2008 but I felt bad because I asked to paint after moving in and they said okay as long as I promised not to paint any dark colors. I said fine which was a big lie because the next week my walls were deep orange and crimson red. Much of today was spent covering these dark colors in my life with a coat of primer and second coat of of the eggshell cream white. I was like fine, I'll leave this place with it being bland and boring and neutral again and so NOT me. Whatever.

The whole process today marks just another step in my moving on process. I didn't paint it alone and had some friends come over to help (thanks to you all. you know who you are.) which was probably best because I have to say I got a little emotional watching the first stroke of white primer hit my gorgeous pumpkin patch orange walls. After getting over the initial jolt of the symbolism behind covering up this colorful era of my life with a coat of boring white, I pressed on and we managed to complete the whole place in a few hours. I turned it into a little party and ordered pizza for my helpers.

When I first moved in here I was quite adamant about doing each room in one of my three favorite colors, orange, red, and yellow and I wanted each shade to be vivid and vibrant and knock you down when you saw it. So I did. I wanted people to know that I lived here when they walked through the door and I believe I achieved the desired effect. My friend Cameron told me my house looked like a circus freak show tent but she's a bitch so I don't listen to her half the time anyway. I've been quite happy here in my circus freak show tent and loved the colors and personalities of each room.

Today I noticed something quite interesting though. When all my colors were covered up and the apartment existed with just these "boring" neutrals and soft whites I actually found it rather soothing and mellow and kind of liked it. While I was already browsing through bright vivid swatches for my next apartment I think I might wanna go a more toned down route. Maybe I can with white. My circus freak show tent is now a dreamy creamy and I'm kinda living.

Why is this kinda painful for me to admit? Am I becoming boring? Maybe I'm more toned down and mellowed out. Maybe I'm more comfortable today existing in life without an erratic color palette and being so in your face all the time. I'm content just giving you soothing eggshell realness and I'm learning that's okay too!

I'm definitely getting older that's for sure. Tonight while taking out the trash I bent over to lift these heavy paint cans I was leaving on the street and I pulled something in my back and it hurts and I have lower back pain now in my mid 20's! Hey but I was actually throwing out the extra red, orange, and yellow paint I found in the closet while cleaning thus further ending that period of my life. I thought for certain these would come with me should we want to use them in the new place but now it appears they're junk.

At the end of today my apartment came out new and fresh looking just as I feel I will be a week from now when I say goodbye to this apartment and now apparently also to the wild color schemes of my life.

So what will we paint the new place? Will I even want to paint at all? Stay tuned....