I can't with the goodbye

Today I told my barber I was leaving Astoria. He's been cutting my hair since I moved here 2 years ago and I love him. He's Colombian like me so at first he was confused why I didn't speak spanish but then he got over it and fell in love with my jewlombian ass. His haircut is cheap, quick, around the corner, and right next door to the greek lady I drop my laundry off at. I told her I was moving today too.

Then I went to the gym and when my workout was done I canceled my membership with Club Fitness Astoria. I told the girl at the front desk I was moving and needed to cancel and then she pointed me to the lady who canceled it for me and I told her I was moving and how much I would miss Astoria and my awesome gym. I told time warner I'm moving, and the post office, and con-ed, and the guy at the bodega, and my neighbor the other day who lives across the hall. I keep thinking about the Bangladeshi guys who work at Subway who I see all the time and having to tell them because they've seen a lot of me once I became broke and the $5 footlong came around. How will they take it once I break the news?

Do any of these people care? I feel like their reactions of gasping and forced frowns about me leaving are obligatory but people move. Life is very transitory. We pick up, we move from place to place, we experience experiences with people we need in our life everywhere we go, no matter where that is. (I already saw the new Subway I will be going to for my $5 footlongs while I was touring my new upper wide side hood)

Tonight I was reading an article about rich manhattanites who live primarily in their high rise apartments in the city and have weekend getaways within the confines of the city. It seems that in this city you really can get everything, including a break from the city. A midtown stock broker can take a $30 cab to an island off brooklyn to enjoy his escape from the city. A subway ride takes another manhattan millionaire to her beachside retreat in Far Rockaway when she needs to "get away". Perhaps even though i'll soon become a manhattanite myself again it feels good to know a piece of me is still a train ride away in a familiar little community i've formed in my time here. It has definitely been my escape from the city. If i ever miss it, I can always come back and visit. It'll soon be considered my little staycation destination.

Some of these people might miss me, some might not, some wont even know I am gone. I left the bum who hangs out at the broadway station a bottle of wine a coworker gave to me around the holidays once but he was sleeping so didnt see it was me who left it. He doesnt even know who I am. But he's part of my routine here and i will miss that part he adds to my day just a little.

Whether these people wil miss me or not, I may never know. But still, saying goodbye to them lets me feel like I will be missed and that I was at one point noticed. It's nice to feel like you were noticed.

Maybe I'll come back for my haircut. We'll see.