I can't with having no headphones!

I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those bloggers who only blogs about how they haven't blogged.

Last night my friend Adam slept over and this morning my headphones were gone.

He stole them! But I guess it was an accident. Apple iPhone earbuds are on every flaming homosexual in this town so it's natural that he would think that they were his when he left me this morning. They're practically a gay staple. At first I freaked out this morning not knowing where they had gone and searched everywhere for them before leaving the house. Was I ready to face the world without my headphones?! Without the one escape I get nowadays from the noise and bustle of the big bad apple?

Apparently not. Just walking to the 1 train from my building this morning was otherworldly without my music. Stepping in the train car, I was met with a fucking mariachi band trio, of course!! Why have I never seen one mariachi band on the train since my move earlier this year from Queens to Manhattan (or ColOmbia to ColUmbia I like to call it) until this morning? I actually took one of those free amNewYork papers to keep my mind occupied on my commute but it wasn't working. I was thoroughly distracted by all the people on the train, the babies crying, the school kids yapping, the ones with headphones blocking it all out, and I was silently dying inside.

I was secretly envisioning my world without my headphones forever. How would I watch TV at work and hear everything loudly without plugging my headphones in? How would I watch YouTube and the Biography of Diff"rent Strokes on my office computer? How would I work out at the gym? How would I run on the treadmill? How would I make trips out to Fire Island on the Long Island Railroad? What would I listen to on the beach?! What would I do?!

When I got to 42nd street to transfer to the 7 train going east I ran into my producer, Amita. She asked how I was feeling because yesterday I woke up with a nasty stomach ache and bad case of the runs. I told her I was much better but now I was obsessing about not having headphones. Then we had a nice kiki about the workday, the weather, the weekend, and all was forgotten.

I had made it through my headphoneless commute. There was even an article about the Jersey Shore kids getting into fights in the amNewYork I picked up that I would've missed had I had my headphones. Maybe I would've missed Amita too, and our nice little kiki. Maybe I should try to buy a book too. I see people reading on the beach and the train all the time. Yeah, maybe that's what I need, a nice book. Maybe one about the Jersey Shore.

And I should address that a lot has happened since I've been "gone". Tyra Sanchez is the new drag superstar (but JuJu will always be mine), I tried out for Big Brother, shaved my head, Whitney Houston's career is over, Lady Gaga conquered the world some more, I grocery shop now, I cook, Betty White survived SNL, my mother survived a health scare, $cientology is going down bitches, Kirstie Alley's show crashed and burned, I reconciled with a best friend, Naomi Campbell hit some more people, Wendy's still werkin it, Bethenny had a baby, Sandra Bullock had an Oscar AND a black baby, I go to the gym almost religiously, I can navigate the steam room just fine, Fire Island is moments away....within reach...I can feel it.

Wow, maybe I definitely shouldn't stay away so long. I should have my distractions taken from me more often.